From Childhood to Adulthood: Behind The Scenes.

In the world of cinema, there are people who make it and there are people who don't. Forget about the world, just think about Bollywood and you'll see that there are people who dream, people who achieve it, people who work really hard for it and people who don't really have to work for it. Their motivations, dreams, desires may all be different but they do have something in common. They all have a behind the scenes story. Although i'm yet to make my mark or snap under pressure but i'm no different than any one of those people, i too have a behind the scenes story. A story that defines my love for cinema.

When questioned about it, people can generally remember the first film that they saw but frankly i don't remember at all what my first film was. But i do recall this one incident which introduced me to the world of cinema. I was probably 8 or 9 when i walked into a room full of my uncles glued to the TV and none of them were paying any attention to my presence. As a chubby 8 year old kid at the peak of his cuteness, i got offended that how come no ones looking at me, whats so important on TV?. So, i have a look at whats going on. And i kid you not, my eyes had an orgasm, my brain had an orgasm and my 8 year old body, which didn't even know what was an orgasm, had an orgasm. 

I was looking at a robot crawling through a machine on his belly trying to catch a lady and that lady pushes a button and crushes the robot.

I remember having watched movies before but this was different. This was the moment i decided 'F*ck the cartoons, this is sooo much better'. The scene i'm referring to is the climax of 'The Terminator'. I asked my dad if i could see the whole movie, he said sure we can borrow it. What started as just borrowing of 'The Terminator' turned into an addiction and i was watching 2 movies a day for over a decade. My exposure to Hollywood and Bollywood was just so intense that i started learning more from the VHS in the VCR than my teacher at school.

Movies like 'Home Alone', 'Toy Story' and 'Jumanji' taught me the nuances of being a child. Movies like 'Wildthings' and 'Basic Instinct' made puberty easier. Movies like 'Dil Chahta hai', 'Big', 'Free Willy' and 'Sholay' made me realize the value of friendship. Not only the movies but the characters portrayed by the likes of 'Shakti Kapoor' 'Gulshan Grover' and 'Amrish Puri' constantly kept on reminding me not to be like them when i grow up. They made me realize what filth is and how my choices could lead me to a life of filth. The hero is kind, everybody loves him, he saves the day and he is the epitome of righteousness. There's Govinda, Akshay, Van Damme and there's also Denzel Washington. Hero's came in all shapes and sizes but what they had in common was that they were all good human beings [on screen at least]. Movies clearly defined, at least for me, how to be a good human being.

If asked to make a choice: Be a Bond Villain with all the money and power or be the guy who is poor and struggles a lot but manages to kill the villain and get the girl. The choice is easy i'd be the guy who kills and gets the girl. But now's the actual test: How would you treat that girl? The answer is simple, I'd not treat the girl like Shakti Kapoor or Gulshan Grover would do it in the movies. So the situation in which i'd have to face a bond villain may never actually arise in real life but the way you treat women and respect them is very much a part of real life.  

It wasn't until my early 20's that i was exposed to World Cinema and i never turned back to commercial. Although commercial cinema is my guilty pleasure, especially action movies, I've moved on from commercial cinema. Somewhere around this time i seemed to have forgotten what movies had taught me and reality sank in. I had to earn a steady income and settle down. So, since i came from a business family, i started a business thinking that it would help me settle down and 10-15 years down the line i'd be settled enough to explore my love of cinema. Unfortunately the business ended up sinking with most of my families wealth.

It was a dark time, only Guru Dutt could have done justice to my state of mind. I was jobless and i was spending most of my time in front of the TV. Before i could realize it, 8 months had gone by. Then one fine day Bollywood decided to jolt me back. Moments like these, although how filmy they seem, you can't make them up.

I was in front of the TV, not really paying attention, i had the newspaper in my hand. I stumbled upon an ad for a foundation course in film making. That's when the conflict within me began. Should i do this? or try again for a steady income?. Just then, as if on queue. 'Rancho' said 'Beta kabil bano kabil, Kamyabi to sali zak mar ke tumhare piche ayegi...' [Be capable... success will follow you no matter what.]

It hit me like a hurricane, think of it like a montage if u must. What was i thinking all this time? Why had i forgotten my love for cinema?  Films were all along telling me to follow my heart... those who dream shall achieve... follow your passion. It all came back to me and i knew this was my calling. The rest is history.

That was 9 shorts ago and i'm still evolving as a film maker. I'm here to share my journey, my views and my love of cinema. I'd like to leave you with a thought:

Do whatever you must do to make your mark in the film industry but don't do it for the glamour or the money.... do it for the love of cinema.

Adios.